Read all about my 100k race below & decide whether this next statement is insane...
I'm going to run in the tan ultra 100k in August! & so the training begins...
NORTHFACE 100 – PINKY’S STORY
My account of my blue mountains challenge;
the trials & tribulations, what it took to be completely broken, to get
through the extreme toughness & to finally cross the finish line after 22
hours of pretty much hell! How do I feel after all this? Relieved,
achieved, shocked to the core & very VERY sore...
I entered into the 100k ultra back
in November when I was on a high from a 50k trail run when I had smashed it, I
heard of the northface100 & it seemed like the natural progression. Running
for me is my therapy, my meditation & a little for achievement setting
& goal getting & I set about training on my own cracking little
adventure. It could be fun!
& So my next challenge came to
be. 18th May 2013. I arrived in a chilled Leura in the National park of mega
mountains on the Friday night, I registered & got my race number, 534, we
made a toasty fire, big bowls of yummy pasta & prepared my gear for my
early 5am start. Then we tried to relax, we watched a Ryan Gosling film to take
my mind off the next day & my impending sense of fear looming.
I packed & unpacked my
backpack & packed it again and checked it again! Filled with food (bliss
balls), energy gels, thermals, a map & compass (I don't even know how to
use a compass!!) first aid, torches (to be a near disaster later) fire lighters
& matches (in case I get lost in the bush - scary) I laid out my layers of
fleece & climacool & compression items, my blister prevention & my
chaffing protection! Never had I carried such practical performance products
usually one with a handbag full of shiny pink shit!
The nights sleep brought a few
tremors, a dream of being lost on a mountain & a 3am wake up with nervous
energy keeping my eyes wide open from then, eating peanut butter & jam
sarnies & power bars in the semi darkness started the surrealism. Alarms
started buzzing & beeping & even Maisie the dog still wanted to be
sleeping but I jumped out of bed & pulled on all my gear with the pre race
excitement radiating I was ready to go.
Donna the darling drove me in the
dark to the resort where I would start (& finally finish) & with
trepidation I joined the throng of runners heading towards our fate. A hazy
orange sun was just starting to rise silhouetting the autumnal trees with the
vastness of the mountains lurking beyond.
Our race briefing commenced in the
hotel hall & was peppered with humour which put us all at ease, then the
race director reminded us that a quarter of us wouldn't finish & I vowed
that it wouldn't be me. I made a pact with myself to push on up & over.
First timer novice naive positivity would soon be pounded out of me in less
than an hour!
The start line was ice cool as I
watched my breath smoke in the air. It was groups 1,2,3 & then 4 my start
at 7.03am. The elite athletes were outta sight in seconds & my stomach was turning
as fast as their leg strides. & Then I was off too. I was greeted by my
first incline, which I happily jogged up keeping the pace. But then I got a
stitch! In the first k! I never get the pesky pains, I ran through it, but that
was just the beginning of the torturous turmoil as I was about to discover....
We ran up & down some serious
steep sloped streets of Leura to the edge of the national park, bodies buoyant
& spirits soaring as the adrenaline pumped us all through the first k’s to 3k.
We slowed as the path narrowed to single track & we all fell into a
rhythmic groove dancing over the rocky trail with early morning agility.
Focused on the feet in front following in safe steps on the uneven terrain. I
couldn't even stop for a second to absorb the astounding scenery surrounding me
for fear of falling.
The steps became steeper, the
rocks rockier, nerves niggled, ankles twisted & my breathing was heavier as
I tried to keep the pace as we descended deeper & deeper. My legs were already
feeling fatigued from the downhill stairs smashing my quads & starting to
affect my ambitions. The first doubts entered my mind "if I was feeling
the strain before I had even ran 10k, how was I going to do 100!"
So I had made it to the bottom of
the valley but that meant getting right back up to the top of the other side!
Over boulders we scrambled & hoisting our bodies through crevices we slowly
burned our legs upwards. My feet started to cramp & I started to worry. If
my feet were cramping now with only 10k & just over an hour into this crazy
challenge, would I even make it to half way on the day? Hmmm I just wasn’t sure
if my 20 minutes on the stepper at the gym was the proper preparation! All my
miles seemed insignificant all of a sudden.
Crunch. Then my ankle started to
click! & Pains shot through my right foot as I missed my foot placement and
awkwardly landed again & again it was as if it had weakened & I
wobbled. Surely it would be a miracle if I survived this without my limbs being
lamed in some way. I looked up as we reached the top & saw the stunning
landscape, feeling on top of the world as the path ran along horizontally for 5
minutes but I was looking at the majestic views not the stones underfoot that
my sneakers smacked & sent me flying flat on my face.
With a grazed knee & wounded
pride, picked up by all of the men around me (some hotties) I regrouped &
refocused & made it my mantra to 'keep going, keep looking where I was
going!' & then I made it to checkpoint 1 at 17k's. In 3.5 hours! & I
would usually run that in 2 hours. I was beginning to think my estimated times
were a wee bit ambitious. I was already sweaty but cold & my body already
ached & my confidence was questionable.
I set off for more of the same,
scrambling & stepping. Listening to conversations about how this was only
the beginning, that it would get worse. How could it get worse, I already
wanted to die! Then I realised that I was following pink ribbons, aaah, this
race was made for me, I would romantically run along as my favourite colour
guided my through, they were a sign that this run was meant to be. The universe
wanted me to be here & now. So I settled into my stepping & started to
zone out until...
Just before 30k we reached a cliff
edge. With my legs starting to cramp I concealed my concerns but opted for the
'easier' route down the cliff. Taros ladders. I stood at the precipice of the
50ft drop & skulked down on iron rungs with no safety & my heart
pumping fear in my ears. My breath showed how petrified each placement of my
cold hands & uncoordinated feet were as I fumbled in fright for five minutes
to alight at the bottom brain battered but alive.
Then we just had to go up again!
& Again...
We were serenaded by the
didgeridoo as we jumped over the crags. & I chatted to a girl about life
& love. & A lady recognised me from last years' 64k run in Cairns! It’s
such a small world. Such incidents sent a signal to my brain that this was a
great experience & the sun shone & I ran/crawled/scrambled/climbed on.
To 38k & checkpoint 2. Now 6 hours into the day. & Now my ankle was the
least of my worries as I tried to loosen my tightening thighs.
I quenched my thirst & quelled
any thoughts of not making it halfway as I set off, only another 16k until I
saw the smiley faces of my support crew. As more hills made my relentless
forward progress seem to last an eternity & my legs cramped all the way up
from my knees, oh & around this point my left knee joint creaked & cartilage
crunched with pain taken to powerful new levels.
My epiphany came as the course
flattened for the first (and only time) I jogged. I felt like I had turned a
corner & that I could conquer this. I ran past the 50k marker on a tree, a
sight for my sore eyes (I mean thighs). & I ran the next 4k, leaving other
runners in my dust, my emotions elevating me over one last ascent & descent
to checkpoint 3 where Careen & Donna waited with pink hats & concerned
smiles & much needed supplies.
I excused my lateness with
expletives, "this course is f**kin f**ked" and explained the
terrifying terrain, my struggle with the stairs but the fact that I had just
been able to run the last flat bit had given me hope. The girls encouraged that
'some guy' had said the next leg was much of the same (said some guy lied) &
I was emboldened that I could get to the next checkpoint in super quick time -
11k's in 3 hours!! With renewed confidence & vegan cookie energy I set off
along the grassy path feeling like I could maybe, just maybe finish by
midnight.
Jogging felt just wonderful &
skipping across a stream & ruminating the rocks I meditated my mantra of
'grace, strength & pink power' rhythmically running as the sun slipped out
of the sky & the day darkened around me. I was freaked out by the spooky
surroundings in the dim light. Starting to scare I lit up the dusky path with
my head light & adjusted to this new obstacle, the darkness & the
lonely road was still just as long even though I couldn't see it.
Then the road steepened &
stairs heightened as morale dipped. With runners nightlights illuminating the
path at points ahead of me all metres above my head, which meant more hill
ahead filling me with dread. The pink ribbons turned glow in the dark guiding
me through the new night. & The steps above were going to take all my
fight.
I was looking at the light one
foot in front of me & I found each step intensified the height & hurt. With
others' moans & groans punctuating the air I let out a whimper or two as
the winding slope still stacked up on top of my dwindling strength. I stopped
for an energy boosting bliss ball but my stomach clenched & closed its
doors. I was suffering & visualised finishing the run right then. How happy
I would be to stop. How could I carry on for another 6 hours? How could I
possibly complete this crusade? I passed others in similar state of distress
sat on the edge of defeat.
I slowly made it to the top with a
group of four of us sharing the strain & the relief as we summited. One guy
had finished last year & said from this point he had enjoyed it & that
we had been through the worst (blatant lie) I was so happy I broke into a jog
as we reached the edge of Katoomba town, it felt like the dawn of civilisation.
& I was solaced to reach the sports hall as the cold had started to seep
into my bones & the buzzing warmth & bright lights comforted my bruised
outlook.
My support crew cared for my
nutritional needs but my tummy was traumatised & tightened. Then the girls
ensured I was pepped & prepped for the next (& the toughest) trek. A
lengthy 24k's would take me well into the night. I pleaded with Donna, "Please
don't make me go out there again." She thought I was kidding (I wasn’t) but
all joking aside, I had made it this far quitting now just didn't seem an
option & I resolutely resumed my mission leaving the security of the sports
hall & setting off into the night for my most testing challenge yet.
My legs tired beyond. With searing
pains I stretched out my strides. I reached the top of the steel steps, using
the rails as crutches to take the pressure off my pins. But then the under
footing morphed into uneven rocks again & I unsteadily treaded. So upon
reaching the asphalt I rejoiced in the roads! & Downhill road too, the
dream! If only my legs had not been shattered and every step down sent new
miseries through my body & blowing my mind.
Sometimes human kindness saves
lives & Cliff was my saviour. He checked I was ok as I begrudgingly trudged
& I honestly wasn't ok. My legs were on the verge of collapse. He offered
me one of his walking poles, which I gratefully accepted. Diverting the
pressure & distracting me with the days’ details, the usual questions were
a welcome respite.
Have you done this race before?
What made you do it? Would you do it again? NO! How many ultras/marathons have
you done? Where in the UK are you from? Where do you live now? Any good runs in
Melbourne? Hey what about all those steps! & Then we were going down for
10k so we also had to go up for 10k. When we got to 80k that's when we went
uphill. Can't wait! I actually wanted the uphill, as the downhill was
deconstructing my bones & being.
Cliff picked up his pace,
proclaiming his desire to make it in under 20 hours he disappeared ahead in the
darkness. (I checked his time in the results, 19hrs 56mins, so happy for him) Shouting
over his shoulder to keep the stick, I could give it back at the top of the
hill. That was 10k away. 10k of 45-degree constant gradient. 10k of turning
corners with the demoralising road disappearing in the blackness. My glutes
yelping & my mind was wandering, my thoughts were confusing but mostly of
quitting. How will I tell people I didn't make it, what about all the
donations, people are counting on me to do this, but 89k is a good enough
effort, after all I've been through, it's for the best, I could plead insanity.
One poor guy, wrapped in his space
blanket with tear streaked cheeks lay roadside as I asked him if he was ok, he
replied he was ‘just having a rest’ & I was jealous! Jealous that he was horizontal,
he had made his bed & was laying in it! He had resigned to his withdrawal,
decision made to decline the rest of the test.
I could see others breaking,
limping & crying as I myself dribbling & delirious took an hour to go
from 85k to 89k. Unable to move any faster I wanted to catch up with Cliff but
like in a dream my legs were laden with lead & my heart was heavy. Finally
I saw the lights of checkpoint 5, the penultimate point at 89k. I crawled
stiffly to the seat next to the fire where my super support girls were wearily
smiling & being silly. I sat down & I asked permission to cry. & The
tears came. Beaten & broken I broke it to them, "I can't do it, it's too
hard. I'm done." my legs were seized up & my spirit was crushed as I
sat next to the fire.
I started to warm up & with a
tea in my hand, my mood lightened by banter, Careen's motivational speech was
delivered. About how I had come this far, I could do it, it's only another 3
hours (it's 1am now) & that I am amazing. I started to believe & psyche
myself, stretching & mentally limbering up for the last push. A helpful
volunteer told me it's an easier technical part of the course, he also told me I
might kill him at the end, could I cope with another surprise mountain!?!
I started my final trek & had
pushed through the psychological barrier of doom so although my legs were
powerless to perform I walked with purpose & felt brighter than before.
However my head torch is not feeling so bright with the battery dying dimming
light. I called Donna to see if there's a battery, they're nearly home &
would be 20 minutes, I thought if I had to sit at the side of the road for that
long my energy will wane along with my focus & I'll get in the car &
I'll go home to bed!
But a group of 3 runners approached
with batteries & torches & prospects. One of them attached his torch to
my high viz zip with the proposal of company for the last 9k. I jumped at the
chance (as if I could jump!) & we walked into the bush, Conrad & I.
Chatting about our day, our dreams of the Promised Land - the finish line &
shared our hallucinations & happiness at the sense of achievement & the
fact that we would never, never ever do this again.
I found the last leg less
demanding on my last legs & I texted my support crew, "I'm 3k away
yay," when suddenly the floor fell away, the stony steps steepened &
our nightmares resonated. Each stride extracting a sigh we struggled on
together in silence in our own inner world of hell. It took us forever to get
down the gully & the psychological plunge down to the bottom. We had to
face the facts that we got to go up. Again. One more time.
The adrenaline got us up, we knew
it was the conclusion to the terrifying tale, we could see the light at the end
of the very long, dark, freezing, hilly, rocky, steep & torturous tunnel.
& We saw the lights of the resort we began to chat again, we had made it to
the end. Another 100 metres of a grassy field felt like heaven. We saw the
finish line lit up like magic & I saw my friends’ faces in the bright
lights & I felt fabulously fatigued. Exhausted yet ecstatic. Diminished but
I had finished.
Wow. I can't process the truly
traumatic experience but I survived to say I'd like to do another 100k one day
far away, on a flat course. It was 22 hours, nearly a whole day of tenacity
& endurance. I have learned a lot about my pain & brain threshold. I
believe life is about pushing one step further, I did that many many many times
when others would not. I didn't withdraw, I can feel pride in my awesome
achievement & it gives me confidence I can take into my everyday. The human
mind, body & spirit is amazing & I am proud to possess the strength to
get me through the north face 100k.
Big shout out to Donna &
Careen, Cliff & Conrad for without you it wouldn't have been possible for
me to finish! Peace, luvs & masseeve respect to all the runners. xoxo
I do hope you enjoyed my journey! & next I will try to run a (flattish) course 100k in under 12 hours. Speed training will be my friend, I'll let you know how we're getting along! xox
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